(Mom's Breast Cancer Survivor Party November 2008)
My
life that I knew changed tremendously while I attended college at Florida State
University. My mother found a lump in her breast while cleaning the house. She
had my baby brother feel it, and he verified that it was indeed a lump. After
various tests, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2000. I was home that
summer and it was total shock for the entire family. We were frustrated,
disgusted, and mad with God for allowing this to happen to us. We had just
started living after all the struggles my mom endured raising us. My mother had
just started making about $70,000 per year and had a career with benefits. My
mother had to have one of her breasts removed and the other was reduced due to
the fact that lumps were in both breasts. She had to have numerous treatments
that included Chemotherapy & Radiation. I started failing classes in school
and I could no longer focus on my studies. My friends did their best with
trying to keep me up in spirits & keep my mind off the hell that was going
on in my life. Although, I never allowed them to know the depth of what I was going through and my mom's deteriorating health. I left Florida State University and went to Tallahassee
Community College to complete my AA degree to enable my GPA to restart. I got
pregnant during this period, and found love in a person that did not know what
love was. I remember crying for hours in the Health Department, and the Nurse
had to walk me out to my car. I was so scared to tell my mother that I was
pregnant even though I took care of myself. I finally told her after a month of
my knowing, and she said “Tracey you have
always been a responsible person and I know that you can do it….What are you
crying for”. I was shocked and I asked why she was taking it so well and
she said “Baby, I’ve realized that life
is too short to sweat the small stuff”…I was on my death bed recently and we
have to thank God for the blessings that we receive whether good or bad”. I
did not realize that this pregnancy (even though out of order and out of
wedlock) would be the motivation that my mother needed to stay on this earth.
It gave her a reason to live and she fought all the sickness, surgeries, treatments for years (also through my 2nd pregnancy). After 12
years, my mother is still here and she is Breast Cancer Free. She has to watch
her levels, wear a sleeve, and she is in constant pain due to a Lymphedema in
her Right arm.
(Mom with her Compression Sleeve)
Envision yourself going to the
Doctor to have your annual exam. Imagine your physician telling you that you
have a lump in your breast, and that you need further testing. After the
Diagnostic Mammogram and Ultrasound takes place, the Doctor informs you that you
have a nodule that is located in the upper part of your right breast. The
Doctor then informs you that you need to have a biopsy which reveals that you
have Breast Cancer. Visualize yourself shocked, devastated, and nauseated.
Women who are diagnosed with Breast Cancer often ask themselves “Why me?” These
women are faced with major dilemmas and decisions that can be life altering.
Physicians discuss the findings, options for different
procedures, treatment options that include Chemotherapy, Radiation, &
Prescription Drugs to enhance their quality of life. Often time, there is too much information,
too many options, and so little time to make one of the biggest decisions of
their lives.
Psychological distress and acute emotional distress occurs with
most individuals after the onset of Breast Cancer. Many things
surface in a woman after they find out:
Depression
Denial
Retreat
Silence
Anxiety
Anger
Self-esteem
deterioration
Weight Gain from
therapy and prescription drugs
Skin problems:
cuts, scars, irritation
Intimacy decreases
(due to a compromised libido, deficiency in sexual appetite, lack of sexual
stimulation, nerve damage that decreases feeling in female organs)
Coping
Mechanisms are essential tools that Breast Cancer patients can utilize to
overcome emotional distress and strain. They include but are not limited to:
Attend
Breast Cancer Support Groups, Church, Individual Counseling, Family Counseling,
Group Counseling, Sex-Therapy Counseling Sessions, Cognitive-Behavioral Stress
Management
As
I previously mentioned, Sex-Therapy sessions are important for a woman to have
to find ways to explore her body. Self-esteem has a tendency to diminish due to
the changes in the body and physical appearance. This may cause a woman to
abstain from having a relationship and/or sexual intimacy. Breast Cancer can
hinder a woman that has a relationship/marriage, because it puts it at risk for
separation. Women can educate themselves regarding sexuality and attend sex
therapy sessions to assist with overcoming the decrease in sexual desire. Sex Therapy sessions can help individuals to
rediscover their body, fantasies, and desires, these sessions can educate an
individual on exploration of erogenous zones and suggest the use of sex toys.
Women can use vibrators, clitoral stimulators, as well as different creams and
lubricants to arouse the body. Sex Therapy Sessions can teach women to
eventually utilize role play and sexually arousing methods with partners to
restore a couple’s sex lives. Just a thought everyone (did no’t mean to go off on
a tangent).
Many
don’t know that I have gone through many tests and examinations for Breast
Cancer since my mother was diagnosed. Every year since the age of 21 I have to
go through the entire process, and then they say “Don’t worry your good this time again”. However, this year was
very difficult for me due to them taking me through all the tests and
procedures for a period of 6 months. I went through every emotion imaginable, I
retreated from others and stayed to myself, and mentally I thought I can’t be
reliving what my mother went through all over again (Deja vu). It took some time and then
I realized that God is my Creator and he is my healer. I believed that he would
restore me as he did my mother. My prayer was that he would catch it all before
I had to have any surgeries or chemotherapy. I told God that the Generational
curse stops with me and that this disease will not affect my daughters or
anyone else attached to me. In August, my Doctor called and stated that everything
that they though they saw had reversed. I do have to have Clinical Management
every 6 months for preventative measures. God is Amazing!!! Please remember to
check your breasts regularly, eat more natural foods, and have a healthy diet.
God loves you and so do I. Muah!!
This
is a song that assisted me with all that I was going through this year & I hope that it blesses you too…..
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