Spiritual Warfare: Mind Racing, Insomnia, Fatigue, etc

I have had a few people reach out to me for issues with the mind since I posted about negative thinking and trying to overcome that. Changing your thinking is going to be very hard for you to do and it’s a constant battle. However, things like insomnia, depression, erratic thinking are signs that you may be dealing with Spiritual Warfare. Especially, if you are gifted to reach people and make moves. An attack mentally, physically, or socially is designed to side track and veers you from focusing and reaching your goal and purpose. Spiritual Warfare is a topic that’s rarely spoken about. The church touches on it minimally, but not in it’s entirety. 

People are struggling with certain symptoms, and they sometimes think that the something is psychologically wrong. The mind is always going to be attacked if it is in direct connection with your calling/purpose. Often times, there are symptoms that may manifest itself in a physical form but really it’s spiritual.  Beginners in Christ often times deal with this and it is very hard for them to communicate these things to others. They are confused, afraid, and questioning themselves. They often say, “Is this really happening or is this a figment of my imagination?” I want to assure you that you are not crazy and you are dealing with Spiritual Warfare.

I have noticed during my profession as a therapist that some clients are diagnosed as having a mental illness, but really and truly they are encountering Spiritual Warfare. In addition, there are other individuals that are diagnosed with mental illnesses, but they seem to have sensitivity to the spirit realm. You have to be aware of these things because you have to combat it in the spirit realm. There is no way that you can combat spiritual things in a physical manner. This calls for spiritual help, because these are not things that the doctor can fix. The doctor is just going to look at you as if you’re a hypochondriac and clearly you know that you are not crazy.

These are some symptoms that you may be experiencing:

*Mind racing, can’t shut it down

*Constant thinking

*Negative thinking

*Fighting during sleep like you are ALWAYS in an action movie (he can’t get you while awake so he attacks you while your sleep). When you’re awake you’re too focused on daily living and the things of God.

*Illness that goes undiagnosed by a doctor (these ailments are spiritual and doctors can’t seem to find what the problem). They won’t - you’re talking to people and they don’t get what your symptoms are because they don’t align with anything medical.

*You feel smothered in your sleep and/or something weighing you down. You are trying to scream, yell, move and you’re unable to do so.

*You may hear something screaming or yelling in your ear (but no one is in the room with you)

*You may feel someone in the room with you or laying next to you (your spirit is disturbed but no one is in the room with you

*You may wake up with scratches and/or bruises on your body and your unaware where they came from

  If the enemy can make you sick and make you tired he can get to you. He takes your focus off God. You have to fight and you have to be ready to battle. Your battle is mental and spiritual. It’s a trick to keep you from propelling to the place that he has for you. He knows that you will be a beast if you go any further and reach your destination. YOU ARE A THREAT!

A few suggestions to combat sleeplessness:

1.   Write in a journal. Chronicle your experiences and end every entry with a positive declaration over the experience.

2.   Continually listen to music that uplifts you and keeps you sane

3.   Go to sleep with that music in your ear at night

4.   Go to sleep with the TV on someone ministering God’s word

5.   Read a book until you’re excessively sleepy.

6.   If you stay up ALL night and this doesn’t work you may want to ask your doctor about natural remedies to help you sleep. 

 (I have this song playing in my background while I sleep from my Pastor (Pastor Clint Brown-Life To Me) 

Overall I recommend that you:

1. READ YOUR BIBLE

2.READ DAILY DEVOTION

3.READ SPIRITUAL WARFARE BOOKS. I recommend this book by Dr. Cindy Trimm entitled "The Rules of Engagement".

4.Find a trusted spiritual mentor or leader that can pray with and for you while you are working through this time.

5.Find a certified therapist that is also a believer. There are legitimate mental illnesses, conditions, and therapeutic remedies for problems. Many spiritual attacks and gates come open because of legitimate problems that are not addressed or dealt with. In addition, the person also believes in the power of God which will also fortify your work to be better and free. Go to sleep with that music in your ear at night.

4.   Go to sleep with the TV on someone ministering God’s word

5.   Read a book until you’re excessively sleepy.

6.   If you stay up ALL night and this doesn’t work you may want to ask your doctor about natural remedies to help you sleep. 

I received a wonderful gift in the mail from my BFF, and it has helped me tremendously. Please go to your nearest book store and purchase it. It will be a blessing to your spiritual walk and equip you with the mindset and tools to combat spiritual warfare. 

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV)

The Pathway to Loving Me: My New Life!!

2009

Just reflecting on how a few years ago I would call myself damaged goods. In my mind, body, heart, and soul I truly felt that I was.  I told myself there is NO coming back from this brokenness. There is NO way that I can be restored. My friends were extremely upset with me as I went into a depression and I as I went into my shell. The fun-loving and outspoken Tracey that had been was no longer there. I barely smiled and I was always angry. I preferred to stay to myself. My relationship with others suffered and I truly did not care. I thought to myself why interact, why care, why cater, why love…..especially when your slapped in the face when you do for others. What’s the point of always giving to others if you are going to be betrayed and hurt when you do? Going out of your way to show people that you care and forgive no matter what they have done to you. You continue to forgive and they continue to hurt you. My relationship with my mother was not even the same and she was my sister/best friend. I no longer trusted people and I questioned the motives of the people that were in my life at the time. I walked away from everything, including a relationship that I was in for 10 years. I was tired of being hurt and I was tired of hurting myself over and over. I no longer wanted to live, but then I had no choice but to live. I thought to myself if I did not have these kids then I would just check out of this life. Trying to endure through this pain and all the while covering it up. No one knew that I was affected in the manner that I was….Hell I did not even know. “When you continue to place a band aid on wounds and not care for them they start to be exposed”…..”The wounds never heal if you don’t clean them, disinfect them, place antibiotic ointment on them, and exposed them to enable them to breath and eventually heal”. I got tired of covering things up….Putting on a show for others….It had to end. So I told myself that I am going to change me in its entirety, and I will live for me. No longer caring about everyone else and now caring for me(Not realizing that I was hurting others in the process through actions or things that I did). I was on a journey to loving me. One determining factor, is one day I saw a picture of myself and everybody would compliment me on this picture lol…..they surely didn’t know that I had finished balling(crying) behind closed doors and walked out to take this picture. I so hated myself & I so hated my life.

Picture was taken at my mom’s Breast Cancer Survivor Party in 2008

Earlier, my friend sang a song to my mother that I picked out from Mary Mary called “I can’t give up now”. Not realizing that this would be the song that would minister to me. So then I hear a whisper from God and he “says that I’m aware that you are Broken Tray this I know. Tracey I have you right where I need you to be. You are going through these things to understand the clients that you will encounter and others. You can’t help them if you can’t understand them. You have to feel certain things to enable you to deliver and restore others. You have not done anything that caused this pain & you have to endure it for a greater purpose. I need to tear you away…you need time to yourself…others need you. You'll lose some along the way, because they don’t quite understand the pain that's going on inside of you.  I have many more that need you. I will restore everything in time but right now I need to break you.” This was so powerful, but I still hadn’t wrapped my mind around it in it’s entirety. I did however come up with a plan and everyone thought that I was just talking. I sure fooled them almost 1 year later when I started my new life on September 12, 2009. I was so scared and confused but it was so worth it. I was on my journey to loving me and I was determined to Fly Effortlessly above every situation and obstacle that I was and am presented with in this life. I am now a better individual, mother, sister, cousin, BFF, friend, counselor, Therapist, and a WORSHIPPER (the best of them all). God has truly restored me and he still has some work to do ……I still have hang-ups…it’s still hard to trust…it’s still hard to open up out of fear of rejection, hurt, pain, betrayl…at times I feed people with a long handle spoon if I feel that feelings, words, & actions are not reciprocated. I’m loving me but still finding me. The question I would like to ask is are you loving you? Are you even liking you? What steps are you making to improve yourself and better yourself? What are you going to do to detox yourself from all impurities? My suggestions are to:

1.   Buy a Journal and write in it daily

2.   Write your short-term & long-term goals in this journal?

3.   Write down your hearts desires and dreams in every area of your life

4.   Give yourself a 6 month goal date

5.   Check off your goals as you reach them, because you will.

6.   CUT OFF anyone that is hindering you, hurting you, mistreating you

7.   FORGIVE anyone that has done things to hurt you, but they are showing you by their actions that they have truly changed

8.   SPEND TIME with yourself

9.   SPEND TIME WITH GOD (THIS IS THE ANSWER)

I also went on a Girls Weekend retreat & we talked about things that we wanted to purge. We wrote them down and left them there. Our innermost feelings, darkest secrets, issues, insecurities, etc. This was very refreshing and we have all grown since then. It really only took 6-12 months to see a drastic change within our lives. You should try it too!!

This is a song that I would listen to. Keep it on REPEAT on your bad days. I had to flood my brain with this to get through my feelings. Hope it blesses you the way it has me!

I must say that I have met some amazing people along the way….I have so many people that love me and that are good for me…..I’m loving my new life!! Don’t be afraid to take a chance. Do you love you? The journey to loving yourself starts in the mind...just one thought about how you would like to be treated, adored, desired, catered to, respected, etc. You have to decide that you are no longer willing to accept mediocre interactions with other individuals but better yet from yourself. People treat you how you allow them to treat you....Do you want more? Be Fly....First Love Yourself and all the desires of your heart will come ~Flying Effortlessly

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 NIV)

BREAST CANCER: Overcoming, Restoration, & Sexual Complications

(Mom's Breast Cancer Survivor Party November 2008)

My life that I knew changed tremendously while I attended college at Florida State University. My mother found a lump in her breast while cleaning the house. She had my baby brother feel it, and he verified that it was indeed a lump. After various tests, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2000. I was home that summer and it was total shock for the entire family. We were frustrated, disgusted, and mad with God for allowing this to happen to us. We had just started living after all the struggles my mom endured raising us. My mother had just started making about $70,000 per year and had a career with benefits. My mother had to have one of her breasts removed and the other was reduced due to the fact that lumps were in both breasts. She had to have numerous treatments that included Chemotherapy & Radiation. I started failing classes in school and I could no longer focus on my studies. My friends did their best with trying to keep me up in spirits & keep my mind off the hell that was going on in my life. Although, I never allowed them to know the depth of what I was going through and my mom's deteriorating health. I left Florida State University and went to Tallahassee Community College to complete my AA degree to enable my GPA to restart. I got pregnant during this period, and found love in a person that did not know what love was. I remember crying for hours in the Health Department, and the Nurse had to walk me out to my car. I was so scared to tell my mother that I was pregnant even though I took care of myself. I finally told her after a month of my knowing, and she said “Tracey you have always been a responsible person and I know that you can do it….What are you crying for”. I was shocked and I asked why she was taking it so well and she said “Baby, I’ve realized that life is too short to sweat the small stuff”…I was on my death bed recently and we have to thank God for the blessings that we receive whether good or bad”. I did not realize that this pregnancy (even though out of order and out of wedlock) would be the motivation that my mother needed to stay on this earth. It gave her a reason to live and she fought all the sickness, surgeries, treatments for years (also through my 2^nd pregnancy). After 12 years, my mother is still here and she is Breast Cancer Free. She has to watch her levels, wear a sleeve, and she is in constant pain due to a Lymphedema in her Right arm.

(Mom with her Compression Sleeve)

Envision yourself going to the Doctor to have your annual exam. Imagine your physician telling you that you have a lump in your breast, and that you need further testing. After the Diagnostic Mammogram and Ultrasound takes place, the Doctor informs you that you have a nodule that is located in the upper part of your right breast. The Doctor then informs you that you need to have a biopsy which reveals that you have Breast Cancer. Visualize yourself shocked, devastated, and nauseated. Women who are diagnosed with Breast Cancer often ask themselves “Why me?” These women are faced with major dilemmas and decisions that can be life altering. Physicians discuss the findings, options for different procedures, treatment options that include Chemotherapy, Radiation, & Prescription Drugs to enhance their quality of life.  Often time, there is too much information, too many options, and so little time to make one of the biggest decisions of their lives. 

Psychological distress and acute emotional distress occurs with most individuals after the onset of Breast Cancer. Many things surface in a woman after they find out:

Depression

Denial

Retreat

Silence 

Anxiety

Anger

Self-esteem deterioration

Weight Gain from therapy and prescription drugs

Skin problems: cuts, scars, irritation

Intimacy decreases (due to a compromised libido, deficiency in sexual appetite, lack of sexual stimulation, nerve damage that decreases feeling in female organs)

Coping Mechanisms are essential tools that Breast Cancer patients can utilize to overcome emotional distress and strain. They include but are not limited to:

Attend Breast Cancer Support Groups, Church, Individual Counseling, Family Counseling, Group Counseling, Sex-Therapy Counseling Sessions, Cognitive-Behavioral Stress Management

As I previously mentioned, Sex-Therapy sessions are important for a woman to have to find ways to explore her body. Self-esteem has a tendency to diminish due to the changes in the body and physical appearance. This may cause a woman to abstain from having a relationship and/or sexual intimacy. Breast Cancer can hinder a woman that has a relationship/marriage, because it puts it at risk for separation. Women can educate themselves regarding sexuality and attend sex therapy sessions to assist with overcoming the decrease in sexual desire.  Sex Therapy sessions can help individuals to rediscover their body, fantasies, and desires, these sessions can educate an individual on exploration of erogenous zones and suggest the use of sex toys. Women can use vibrators, clitoral stimulators, as well as different creams and lubricants to arouse the body. Sex Therapy Sessions can teach women to eventually utilize role play and sexually arousing methods with partners to restore a couple’s sex lives. Just a thought everyone (did no’t mean to go off on a tangent).

Many don’t know that I have gone through many tests and examinations for Breast Cancer since my mother was diagnosed. Every year since the age of 21 I have to go through the entire process, and then they say “Don’t worry your good this time again”. However, this year was very difficult for me due to them taking me through all the tests and procedures for a period of 6 months. I went through every emotion imaginable, I retreated from others and stayed to myself, and mentally I thought I can’t be reliving what my mother went through all over again (Deja vu). It took some time and then I realized that God is my Creator and he is my healer. I believed that he would restore me as he did my mother. My prayer was that he would catch it all before I had to have any surgeries or chemotherapy. I told God that the Generational curse stops with me and that this disease will not affect my daughters or anyone else attached to me. In August, my Doctor called and stated that everything that they though they saw had reversed. I do have to have Clinical Management every 6 months for preventative measures. God is Amazing!!! Please remember to check your breasts regularly, eat more natural foods, and have a healthy diet. God loves you and so do I. Muah!!

This is a song that assisted me with all that I was going through this year & I hope that it blesses you too…..

Flying Effortlessly

"FLYING EFFORTLESSLY"

I so remember 3 years ago I felt like my world that I knew since teenage years came crashing down. I can still taste it and it was the most uncomfortable place that I ever been in my entire life. I remember that I was broken, bruised, disgusted, fearful, etc. I remember thinking that I clearly know nothing and that I had dedicated 10 years to someone and for what. I realized that I didn’t even know who Tracey was. I thought to myself this is very hard, and now my wound is open for everyone to see. I could no longer cover it up, and the negative feelings I had internally were exposed. I wanted this wound to heal and I had to give it air to breathe. I was scared to be separated, alone, divorced, financially vexed and so forth. I remember that I didn’t have much support, and it "appeared" that I was the party that deserted it all. In my head I thought "How can they say I'm the problem?" "How can they say that I was the one that abandoned my former life?"  I remember feeling alone, but realizing that I needed to be strong not only for myself but for my girls. My thoughts were racing, my mind perplexed, and I told myself that at this stage in the game I am DAMAGED goods. 

Damaged Goods: a person considered to be flawed or spoiled in character, efficiency, or worth

My best friends would get furious with me when I would say that I am damaged goods. I didn't care because the description fit me internally. In this season of my life, I began to isolate myself. I went into a shell. Only family & friends that recognized my broken spirit understood to let me be and love me from a distance. Isolation can be of benefit at times, but it can be very detrimental if you stay in that place at an extreme length of time. I was in a very bitter place, and I disconnected myself from all parties that caused me pain(whether they knew it or not). I felt that if I could cut these people out of my life then it would rid me of all the pain that I endured.  

As time went on, I focused on my girls...myself....and my relationship with God. I would write in my journal to purge all of my emotions whether they were unstable or not. I worked out to relieve anger. I learned to date myself and the things that made me happy. I read my bible, and I read books to keep my mind from drifting to negative places.  I learned the meaning of my worth…I learned to love me...and I learned the beginning stages of learning to Fly. 

Fly: to move in or pass through the air with wings; to journey over or through by flying

This is a song that assisted me daily & poured out everything that was within me. I will say that with time and with God…..THIS TOO SHALL PASS!! I am now Flying.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. "All who rage against you

will surely be ashamed and disgraced;

those who oppose you

will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies,

you will not find them.

Those who wage war against you

will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord your God

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you. (Isaiah 41:10-13 NIV)

Despite what happened in your life or what is currently happening...Please ask yourself "ARE YOU FLYING EFFORTLESSLY?"